Debbie Charles, M.A.
Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision UKCP
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Author: debbiecharles

Privacy policy

15 June, 202015 June, 2020

Privacy Policy

We are very delighted that you have shown interest in our enterprise. Data protection is of a particularly high priority for the management of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision. The use of the Internet pages of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision is possible without any indication of personal data; however, if a data subject wants to use special enterprise services via our website, processing of personal data could become necessary. If the processing of personal data is necessary and there is no statutory basis for such processing, we generally obtain consent from the data subject.

The processing of personal data, such as the name, address, e-mail address, or telephone number of a data subject shall always be in line with the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), and in accordance with the country-specific data protection regulations applicable to the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision. By means of this data protection declaration, our enterprise would like to inform the general public of the nature, scope, and purpose of the personal data we collect, use and process. Furthermore, data subjects are informed, by means of this data protection declaration, of the rights to which they are entitled.

As the controller, the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision has implemented numerous technical and organizational measures to ensure the most complete protection of personal data processed through this website. However, Internet-based data transmissions may in principle have security gaps, so absolute protection may not be guaranteed. For this reason, every data subject is free to transfer personal data to us via alternative means, e.g. by telephone.

1. Definitions

The data protection declaration of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision is based on the terms used by the European legislator for the adoption of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). Our data protection declaration should be legible and understandable for the general public, as well as our customers and business partners. To ensure this, we would like to first explain the terminology used.

In this data protection declaration, we use, inter alia, the following terms:

  • a)    Personal data

    Personal data means any information relating to an identified or identifiable natural person (“data subject”). An identifiable natural person is one who can be identified, directly or indirectly, in particular by reference to an identifier such as a name, an identification number, location data, an online identifier or to one or more factors specific to the physical, physiological, genetic, mental, economic, cultural or social identity of that natural person.

  • b) Data subject

    Data subject is any identified or identifiable natural person, whose personal data is processed by the controller responsible for the processing.

  • c)    Processing

    Processing is any operation or set of operations which is performed on personal data or on sets of personal data, whether or not by automated means, such as collection, recording, organisation, structuring, storage, adaptation or alteration, retrieval, consultation, use, disclosure by transmission, dissemination or otherwise making available, alignment or combination, restriction, erasure or destruction.

  • d)    Restriction of processing

    Restriction of processing is the marking of stored personal data with the aim of limiting their processing in the future.

  • e)    Profiling

    Profiling means any form of automated processing of personal data consisting of the use of personal data to evaluate certain personal aspects relating to a natural person, in particular to analyse or predict aspects concerning that natural person’s performance at work, economic situation, health, personal preferences, interests, reliability, behaviour, location or movements.

  • f)     Pseudonymisation

    Pseudonymisation is the processing of personal data in such a manner that the personal data can no longer be attributed to a specific data subject without the use of additional information, provided that such additional information is kept separately and is subject to technical and organisational measures to ensure that the personal data are not attributed to an identified or identifiable natural person.

  • g)    Controller or controller responsible for the processing

    Controller or controller responsible for the processing is the natural or legal person, public authority, agency or other body which, alone or jointly with others, determines the purposes and means of the processing of personal data; where the purposes and means of such processing are determined by Union or Member State law, the controller or the specific criteria for its nomination may be provided for by Union or Member State law.

  • h)    Processor

    Processor is a natural or legal person, public authority, agency or other body which processes personal data on behalf of the controller.

  • i)      Recipient

    Recipient is a natural or legal person, public authority, agency or another body, to which the personal data are disclosed, whether a third party or not. However, public authorities which may receive personal data in the framework of a particular inquiry in accordance with Union or Member State law shall not be regarded as recipients; the processing of those data by those public authorities shall be in compliance with the applicable data protection rules according to the purposes of the processing.

  • j)      Third party

    Third party is a natural or legal person, public authority, agency or body other than the data subject, controller, processor and persons who, under the direct authority of the controller or processor, are authorised to process personal data.

  • k)    Consent

    Consent of the data subject is any freely given, specific, informed and unambiguous indication of the data subject’s wishes by which he or she, by a statement or by a clear affirmative action, signifies agreement to the processing of personal data relating to him or her.

2. Name and Address of the controller

Controller for the purposes of the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), other data protection laws applicable in Member states of the European Union and other provisions related to data protection is:

Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision

Flat 15, 27 Sheldon Square, Paddington Central

W2 6DW London

United Kingdom

Phone: 07753399509

Email: debbie.charles@gmail.com

Website: www.debbiecharles.com

3. Name and Address of the Data Protection Officer

The Data Protection Officer of the controller is:

Debbie Charles

Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision

Flat 15, 27 Sheldon Square, Paddington Central

W2 6DW London

United Kingdom

Phone: 07753399509

Email: debbie.charles@gmail.com

Website: www.debbiecharles.com

Any data subject may, at any time, contact our Data Protection Officer directly with all questions and suggestions concerning data protection.

4. Collection of general data and information

The website of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision collects a series of general data and information when a data subject or automated system calls up the website. This general data and information are stored in the server log files. Collected may be (1) the browser types and versions used, (2) the operating system used by the accessing system, (3) the website from which an accessing system reaches our website (so-called referrers), (4) the sub-websites, (5) the date and time of access to the Internet site, (6) an Internet protocol address (IP address), (7) the Internet service provider of the accessing system, and (8) any other similar data and information that may be used in the event of attacks on our information technology systems.

When using these general data and information, the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision does not draw any conclusions about the data subject. Rather, this information is needed to (1) deliver the content of our website correctly, (2) optimize the content of our website as well as its advertisement, (3) ensure the long-term viability of our information technology systems and website technology, and (4) provide law enforcement authorities with the information necessary for criminal prosecution in case of a cyber-attack. Therefore, the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision analyzes anonymously collected data and information statistically, with the aim of increasing the data protection and data security of our enterprise, and to ensure an optimal level of protection for the personal data we process. The anonymous data of the server log files are stored separately from all personal data provided by a data subject.

5. Contact possibility via the website

The website of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision contains information that enables a quick electronic contact to our enterprise, as well as direct communication with us, which also includes a general address of the so-called electronic mail (e-mail address). If a data subject contacts the controller by e-mail or via a contact form, the personal data transmitted by the data subject are automatically stored. Such personal data transmitted on a voluntary basis by a data subject to the data controller are stored for the purpose of processing or contacting the data subject. There is no transfer of this personal data to third parties.

6. Routine erasure and blocking of personal data

The data controller shall process and store the personal data of the data subject only for the period necessary to achieve the purpose of storage, or as far as this is granted by the European legislator or other legislators in laws or regulations to which the controller is subject to.

If the storage purpose is not applicable, or if a storage period prescribed by the European legislator or another competent legislator expires, the personal data are routinely blocked or erased in accordance with legal requirements.

7. Rights of the data subject

  • a) Right of confirmation

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to obtain from the controller the confirmation as to whether or not personal data concerning him or her are being processed. If a data subject wishes to avail himself of this right of confirmation, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the controller.

  • b) Right of access

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to obtain from the controller free information about his or her personal data stored at any time and a copy of this information. Furthermore, the European directives and regulations grant the data subject access to the following information:

    • the purposes of the processing;
    • the categories of personal data concerned;
    • the recipients or categories of recipients to whom the personal data have been or will be disclosed, in particular recipients in third countries or international organisations;
    • where possible, the envisaged period for which the personal data will be stored, or, if not possible, the criteria used to determine that period;
    • the existence of the right to request from the controller rectification or erasure of personal data, or restriction of processing of personal data concerning the data subject, or to object to such processing;
    • the existence of the right to lodge a complaint with a supervisory authority;
    • where the personal data are not collected from the data subject, any available information as to their source;
    • the existence of automated decision-making, including profiling, referred to in Article 22(1) and (4) of the GDPR and, at least in those cases, meaningful information about the logic involved, as well as the significance and envisaged consequences of such processing for the data subject.

    Furthermore, the data subject shall have a right to obtain information as to whether personal data are transferred to a third country or to an international organisation. Where this is the case, the data subject shall have the right to be informed of the appropriate safeguards relating to the transfer.

    If a data subject wishes to avail himself of this right of access, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the controller.

  • c) Right to rectification

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to obtain from the controller without undue delay the rectification of inaccurate personal data concerning him or her. Taking into account the purposes of the processing, the data subject shall have the right to have incomplete personal data completed, including by means of providing a supplementary statement.

    If a data subject wishes to exercise this right to rectification, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the controller.

  • d) Right to erasure (Right to be forgotten)

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to obtain from the controller the erasure of personal data concerning him or her without undue delay, and the controller shall have the obligation to erase personal data without undue delay where one of the following grounds applies, as long as the processing is not necessary:

    • The personal data are no longer necessary in relation to the purposes for which they were collected or otherwise processed.
    • The data subject withdraws consent to which the processing is based according to point (a) of Article 6(1) of the GDPR, or point (a) of Article 9(2) of the GDPR, and where there is no other legal ground for the processing.
    • The data subject objects to the processing pursuant to Article 21(1) of the GDPR and there are no overriding legitimate grounds for the processing, or the data subject objects to the processing pursuant to Article 21(2) of the GDPR.
    • The personal data have been unlawfully processed.
    • The personal data must be erased for compliance with a legal obligation in Union or Member State law to which the controller is subject.
    • The personal data have been collected in relation to the offer of information society services referred to in Article 8(1) of the GDPR.

    If one of the aforementioned reasons applies, and a data subject wishes to request the erasure of personal data stored by the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the controller. An employee of Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision shall promptly ensure that the erasure request is complied with immediately.

    Where the controller has made personal data public and is obliged pursuant to Article 17(1) to erase the personal data, the controller, taking account of available technology and the cost of implementation, shall take reasonable steps, including technical measures, to inform other controllers processing the personal data that the data subject has requested erasure by such controllers of any links to, or copy or replication of, those personal data, as far as processing is not required. An employees of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision will arrange the necessary measures in individual cases.

  • e) Right of restriction of processing

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to obtain from the controller restriction of processing where one of the following applies:

    • The accuracy of the personal data is contested by the data subject, for a period enabling the controller to verify the accuracy of the personal data.
    • The processing is unlawful and the data subject opposes the erasure of the personal data and requests instead the restriction of their use instead.
    • The controller no longer needs the personal data for the purposes of the processing, but they are required by the data subject for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims.
    • The data subject has objected to processing pursuant to Article 21(1) of the GDPR pending the verification whether the legitimate grounds of the controller override those of the data subject.

    If one of the aforementioned conditions is met, and a data subject wishes to request the restriction of the processing of personal data stored by the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision, he or she may at any time contact any employee of the controller. The employee of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision will arrange the restriction of the processing.

  • f) Right to data portability

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator, to receive the personal data concerning him or her, which was provided to a controller, in a structured, commonly used and machine-readable format. He or she shall have the right to transmit those data to another controller without hindrance from the controller to which the personal data have been provided, as long as the processing is based on consent pursuant to point (a) of Article 6(1) of the GDPR or point (a) of Article 9(2) of the GDPR, or on a contract pursuant to point (b) of Article 6(1) of the GDPR, and the processing is carried out by automated means, as long as the processing is not necessary for the performance of a task carried out in the public interest or in the exercise of official authority vested in the controller.

    Furthermore, in exercising his or her right to data portability pursuant to Article 20(1) of the GDPR, the data subject shall have the right to have personal data transmitted directly from one controller to another, where technically feasible and when doing so does not adversely affect the rights and freedoms of others.

    In order to assert the right to data portability, the data subject may at any time contact any employee of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision.

  • g) Right to object

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to object, on grounds relating to his or her particular situation, at any time, to processing of personal data concerning him or her, which is based on point (e) or (f) of Article 6(1) of the GDPR. This also applies to profiling based on these provisions.

    The Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision shall no longer process the personal data in the event of the objection, unless we can demonstrate compelling legitimate grounds for the processing which override the interests, rights and freedoms of the data subject, or for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims.

    If the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision processes personal data for direct marketing purposes, the data subject shall have the right to object at any time to processing of personal data concerning him or her for such marketing. This applies to profiling to the extent that it is related to such direct marketing. If the data subject objects to the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision to the processing for direct marketing purposes, the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision will no longer process the personal data for these purposes.

    In addition, the data subject has the right, on grounds relating to his or her particular situation, to object to processing of personal data concerning him or her by the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision for scientific or historical research purposes, or for statistical purposes pursuant to Article 89(1) of the GDPR, unless the processing is necessary for the performance of a task carried out for reasons of public interest.

    In order to exercise the right to object, the data subject may contact any employee of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision. In addition, the data subject is free in the context of the use of information society services, and notwithstanding Directive 2002/58/EC, to use his or her right to object by automated means using technical specifications.

  • h) Automated individual decision-making, including profiling

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator not to be subject to a decision based solely on automated processing, including profiling, which produces legal effects concerning him or her, or similarly significantly affects him or her, as long as the decision (1) is not is necessary for entering into, or the performance of, a contract between the data subject and a data controller, or (2) is not authorised by Union or Member State law to which the controller is subject and which also lays down suitable measures to safeguard the data subject’s rights and freedoms and legitimate interests, or (3) is not based on the data subject’s explicit consent.

    If the decision (1) is necessary for entering into, or the performance of, a contract between the data subject and a data controller, or (2) it is based on the data subject’s explicit consent, the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision shall implement suitable measures to safeguard the data subject’s rights and freedoms and legitimate interests, at least the right to obtain human intervention on the part of the controller, to express his or her point of view and contest the decision.

    If the data subject wishes to exercise the rights concerning automated individual decision-making, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision.

  • i) Right to withdraw data protection consent

    Each data subject shall have the right granted by the European legislator to withdraw his or her consent to processing of his or her personal data at any time.

    If the data subject wishes to exercise the right to withdraw the consent, he or she may, at any time, contact any employee of the Debbie Charles Psychotherapy & Clinical Supervision.

8. Data protection provisions about the application and use of Google Analytics (with anonymization function)

On this website, the controller has integrated the component of Google Analytics (with the anonymizer function). Google Analytics is a web analytics service. Web analytics is the collection, gathering, and analysis of data about the behavior of visitors to websites. A web analysis service collects, inter alia, data about the website from which a person has come (the so-called referrer), which sub-pages were visited, or how often and for what duration a sub-page was viewed. Web analytics are mainly used for the optimization of a website and in order to carry out a cost-benefit analysis of Internet advertising.

The operator of the Google Analytics component is Google Ireland Limited, Gordon House, Barrow Street, Dublin, D04 E5W5, Ireland.

For the web analytics through Google Analytics the controller uses the application “_gat. _anonymizeIp”. By means of this application the IP address of the Internet connection of the data subject is abridged by Google and anonymised when accessing our websites from a Member State of the European Union or another Contracting State to the Agreement on the European Economic Area.

The purpose of the Google Analytics component is to analyze the traffic on our website. Google uses the collected data and information, inter alia, to evaluate the use of our website and to provide online reports, which show the activities on our websites, and to provide other services concerning the use of our Internet site for us.

Google Analytics places a cookie on the information technology system of the data subject. The definition of cookies is explained above. With the setting of the cookie, Google is enabled to analyze the use of our website. With each call-up to one of the individual pages of this Internet site, which is operated by the controller and into which a Google Analytics component was integrated, the Internet browser on the information technology system of the data subject will automatically submit data through the Google Analytics component for the purpose of online advertising and the settlement of commissions to Google. During the course of this technical procedure, the enterprise Google gains knowledge of personal information, such as the IP address of the data subject, which serves Google, inter alia, to understand the origin of visitors and clicks, and subsequently create commission settlements.

The cookie is used to store personal information, such as the access time, the location from which the access was made, and the frequency of visits of our website by the data subject. With each visit to our Internet site, such personal data, including the IP address of the Internet access used by the data subject, will be transmitted to Google in the United States of America. These personal data are stored by Google in the United States of America. Google may pass these personal data collected through the technical procedure to third parties.

The data subject may, as stated above, prevent the setting of cookies through our website at any time by means of a corresponding adjustment of the web browser used and thus permanently deny the setting of cookies. Such an adjustment to the Internet browser used would also prevent Google Analytics from setting a cookie on the information technology system of the data subject. In addition, cookies already in use by Google Analytics may be deleted at any time via a web browser or other software programs.

In addition, the data subject has the possibility of objecting to a collection of data that are generated by Google Analytics, which is related to the use of this website, as well as the processing of this data by Google and the chance to preclude any such. For this purpose, the data subject must download a browser add-on under the link https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout and install it. This browser add-on tells Google Analytics through a JavaScript, that any data and information about the visits of Internet pages may not be transmitted to Google Analytics. The installation of the browser add-ons is considered an objection by Google. If the information technology system of the data subject is later deleted, formatted, or newly installed, then the data subject must reinstall the browser add-ons to disable Google Analytics. If the browser add-on was uninstalled by the data subject or any other person who is attributable to their sphere of competence, or is disabled, it is possible to execute the reinstallation or reactivation of the browser add-ons.

Further information and the applicable data protection provisions of Google may be retrieved under https://www.google.com/intl/en/policies/privacy/ and under http://www.google.com/analytics/terms/us.html. Google Analytics is further explained under the following Link https://www.google.com/analytics/.

9. Legal basis for the processing

Art. 6(1) lit. a GDPR serves as the legal basis for processing operations for which we obtain consent for a specific processing purpose. If the processing of personal data is necessary for the performance of a contract to which the data subject is party, as is the case, for example, when processing operations are necessary for the supply of goods or to provide any other service, the processing is based on Article 6(1) lit. b GDPR. The same applies to such processing operations which are necessary for carrying out pre-contractual measures, for example in the case of inquiries concerning our products or services. Is our company subject to a legal obligation by which processing of personal data is required, such as for the fulfillment of tax obligations, the processing is based on Art. 6(1) lit. c GDPR. In rare cases, the processing of personal data may be necessary to protect the vital interests of the data subject or of another natural person. This would be the case, for example, if a visitor were injured in our company and his name, age, health insurance data or other vital information would have to be passed on to a doctor, hospital or other third party. Then the processing would be based on Art. 6(1) lit. d GDPR. Finally, processing operations could be based on Article 6(1) lit. f GDPR. This legal basis is used for processing operations which are not covered by any of the abovementioned legal grounds, if processing is necessary for the purposes of the legitimate interests pursued by our company or by a third party, except where such interests are overridden by the interests or fundamental rights and freedoms of the data subject which require protection of personal data. Such processing operations are particularly permissible because they have been specifically mentioned by the European legislator. He considered that a legitimate interest could be assumed if the data subject is a client of the controller (Recital 47 Sentence 2 GDPR).

10. The legitimate interests pursued by the controller or by a third party

Where the processing of personal data is based on Article 6(1) lit. f GDPR our legitimate interest is to carry out our business in favor of the well-being of all our employees and the shareholders.

11. Period for which the personal data will be stored

The criteria used to determine the period of storage of personal data is the respective statutory retention period. After expiration of that period, the corresponding data is routinely deleted, as long as it is no longer necessary for the fulfillment of the contract or the initiation of a contract.

12. Provision of personal data as statutory or contractual requirement; Requirement necessary to enter into a contract; Obligation of the data subject to provide the personal data; possible consequences of failure to provide such data

We clarify that the provision of personal data is partly required by law (e.g. tax regulations) or can also result from contractual provisions (e.g. information on the contractual partner). Sometimes it may be necessary to conclude a contract that the data subject provides us with personal data, which must subsequently be processed by us. The data subject is, for example, obliged to provide us with personal data when our company signs a contract with him or her. The non-provision of the personal data would have the consequence that the contract with the data subject could not be concluded. Before personal data is provided by the data subject, the data subject must contact any employee. The employee clarifies to the data subject whether the provision of the personal data is required by law or contract or is necessary for the conclusion of the contract, whether there is an obligation to provide the personal data and the consequences of non-provision of the personal data.

13. Existence of automated decision-making

As a responsible company, we do not use automatic decision-making or profiling.

This Privacy Policy has been generated by the Privacy Policy Generator of the External Data Protection Officers that was developed in cooperation with the Media Law Lawyers from WBS-LAW.

There’s a Hole in my Soul…

21 July, 201529 March, 2016

 

Healing temple at Asklepios, Greece.
Healing temple at Asklepios, Greece where patients revealed their Dreams to help with their healing.

There are many issues that psychotherapists deal with, but not many therapies are specifically developed to deal with issues of the Soul.

Some believe that this is best left to religion to sort out, but not everyone follows a religious path, and many are starting to identify as SBNR, or Spiritually Independent. I have noticed that it is this group of people who are turning to psychotherapy to deal with such issues.

And, why not?

The word psychotherapy derives from the ancient Greek words psyche meaning soul and therapeia meaning healing. Healing the soul is what we are meant to be doing, as well as healing the mind and heart.

Each client brings their own perspective on soul issues, but I have noticed a common theme – a feeling of emptiness deep inside. Some believe that a lack of purpose in Life is the cause of this empty feeling; some say that they feel so caught up in the “rat race” that they have no time to experience the deeper aspects of their lives. They say that organized religion is not the right “container” for their souls to flourish, but they struggle to find anything in life that fulfils this need. I know this place. I have struggled with that empty feeling and it can be a difficult path to navigate through.

QUOTESo, how can psychotherapy help the Soul?

First, we can provide the space for our clients to explore these deeper issues, rather than analyzing them away, or finding a way to make them issues of the mind. This is a reductionist view on Soul issues. If you are seeking help with this, try to find a therapist who is holistic in their approach and will incorporate the Soul into their practice.

In my own therapy, I was able to explore some of the things that brought meaning to my life, such as being in Nature. I have also taken up writing as a way of trying to express my deeper self. In my private practice, I try to encourage my clients to find their own path to self /soul actualization. Rather than depending on the world to create it for them, I ask them to explore what they can do to fulfill their own needs.

Self-responsibility is a key to this journey! With time and work, they have found a way to express their soul-purposes in life through meaningful work, creativity, being in nature, helping others, and intimate relationships, to name a few.

© Sophia Simonovic
© S. Simonovic

This “soul therapy” can lead to a different way of being in Life.

I noticed that, when I started to live from this place, I saw things differently. I let go of people who were only interested in drama and I started to feel connected to people, place and things that brought meaning into my life.

When I feel disconnected, I notice that I start to feel depressed and empty again. This is a sign that change is needed, or that I got caught up in something that pulled me away from my purpose.

The important thing is this: find what is meaningful for you in your own life and live your life from that place. It may be difficult at first, but ask for support. There are people out there on their own paths, either going through, or have been through, these struggles. That “hole in your soul” could  be filled with all of the things that make your life more meaningful – and joyful, too.

 

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When Nature beckons…

8 July, 2015
Out cottage. © A. Simonovic
Our cottage.
© A. Simonovic

There is a “call” from Nature that is deeply rooted in many Canadians, especially during the summer. Beckoned out of our winter hangover, which lasts for 6 months, we are called to the lakes, trees, mountains and forests. Last weekend, I spent time at my cottage (or for non-Canadians – my cabin) just outside Barry’s Bay, Ontario. Set on a small island, on a beautiful fresh water lake, we found this little place 5 years ago on a visit to my relatives, who have a cottage on the other side of the island. The cottage was abandoned, in disrepair, and needed a lot of TLC! The process has been mythological at times – the call, the journey, and the transformation of the cottage into a place that is integrated with its surroundings. It is a continual work in progress, but there is a deep satisfaction in being part of the change that has taken place. It has been difficult, but rewarding to say the least.

View from the cottage. © A. Simonovic
View from inside the cottage.
© A. Simonovic

A personal transformation also takes place as I cross the lake. All that “city thinking” dissipates in the wind a  and a feeling of natural bliss takes over. I can feel it happening. One moment I am on the shoreline feeling damp and miserable because mosquitoes are buzzing in my ears and biting me. The next minute, I am on our motor boat midway through the lake and joy takes over. The lake is quiet. Nature makes its presence known through the wind and the waves hitting the boat. Like entering another realm of existence, a new state of being emerges. We have no electricity (except our neighbour lets us plug in our electric cooler for food), and no running water (we collect lake water in big jugs for washing up). We have to rely on “primitive” ways to live here – fire, a Coleman stove, and an outhouse. I love it!

I thought deeply about this experience this past weekend and I tried to figure out the difference between my city existence and my cottage existence. The only conclusion I came to was that Nature dominates in cottage country. There is a natural flow that is easy to follow when there are no schedules, or time limits, to adhere to. My body goes with this flow. Having no electricity for lighting helps me with the process of winding down for the evening. The morning sun tells me it is time to wake up; the heat tells me when it is time to swim. There is no concrete, no buildings, and no people in our view line – only lake, sky and thousands of trees. This life in Nature makes me become aware of how tired I feel from my busy-ness. My city brain has shut off and I am free just to be. This is also a place for my Soul – simple, quiet, and peaceful. I am grateful that this experience is possible for me. I am someone who needs to stare up at the sky, or look out on the lake for a long time. It is my form of mediation.

Our lake. © T. Simonovic
Our lake.
© T. Simonovic

The city also has a place in my life and it, too, calls me back. I have to admit that there is a sadness I feel as I watch the cottage and beach disappear as we take the boat back to the mainland, but my Soul is rejuvenated and I carry this feeling back home knowing that I will return.

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Things to know about your sessions…

27 June, 20152 January, 2016

Session time:

  • Sessions are 50 minutes from the starting time we agree. If you are late, for any reason, we will still finish at agreed time.

Fees:

  • Fees are payable at the end of each session by cash, cheque or credit card (Visa or Mastercard) using “Square”. A receipt will be issued if requested.
  • If your insurance is paying for your sessions, it is your responsibility to ensure that you are covered for the session. You will need to pay for your session upfront and then submit your receipt, unless your insurance company requests a different method.
  • Fees for overseas clients differ from domestic clients. Please contact me for more details.

Letters or Reports:

  • I do not write letters or reports for any reason other than to confirm hours for student psychotherapists.

 

 

Things to know before you start

27 June, 20153 August, 2015

If you are new to psychotherapy and counselling, here are somethings that may help you get started :

1. YOU LEAD THE WAY:

  • It is down to you to bring what ever you want to talk about in your session. Imagine it like this – you are on a journey and you need a guide. I am there to follow you and point things out, but you decide where you want to go. I will not lead the way.

2. IT IS NOT A “QUICK FIX”:

  • This is such an important point! There is no magic pill, or formula, that will make your issues instantly go away. Most clients have had problems for many years, some even from childhood, so it may take time to uncover and work though the issues.

3. YOU WILL ONLY GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT IN:

  • You can’t be passive in therapy if you want to get through the problem. Also, you can’t rely on me to do most of the work for you. Try and look at it like this: when you first go to the gym, your muscles hurt. If you give up, there is no change. But, if you persevere through the pain, you grow and feel healthier. The same is for psychotherapy and counselling – the more you put in, the more you get out of it.

4. IT IS AN INVESTMENT IN YOURSELF:

  • We would all love free therapy. Some may have insurance and can access it through their benefits. But most of us have to pay for this service. When I was in therapy, I saw it as an investment in myself. I wanted to heal and grow, and be the best psychotherapist I could be. I was worth it, and I hope you can think of yourself this way.

5. THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT:

  • You are telling this person the most intimate details of your life. Make sure they are the right person for you. We won’t take it personally if you need to see someone else. Most of us want the best for you.

6. THINGS MAY GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER:

  • I liken it to cleaning out a wound, but there is no pain killer to numb the pain; it hurts, but you are on the way to healing.

7. BE HONEST:

  • This is so important. We are not here to judge you, but to help you with your life. It can be difficult to face the truth, but this is the path to healing and working through your issues.

 

© Debbie Charles, 2015.

Finding meaning through suffering

26 June, 2015

 

©Scott Robinson; Flickr
©Scott Robinson; Flickr

As we go through our journey in life, most of us have periods of suffering. This suffering comes to us in many shapes and forms, from an event that may be out of our control, to the acute pain of tragedy and loss. In my private practice, Suffering has walked through the door nearly every time. Like an old friend, I try to greet it with compassion no matter what form it shows up in. Sometimes, I fail. I had a client who came to a session very upset because her “friends” on Facebook were “unfollowing” her. On the surface this seemed like a first world problem, and I felt irritated by her upset. As we started to peel back the layers, her deepest pain was a fear of abandonment, and I was humbled once again. Suffering always has a lesson to teach me!

Viktor Frankl, österr. Psychologe und Arzt. Photographie. Um 1975My view on suffering changed when I read Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning (1959) as a student psychotherapist. Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist who was imprisoned by the Nazis and sent to various concentration camps from 1942-1945. During this time, when the prisoners had been stripped of everything in their lives, Frankl noticed that certain inmates were able to bear their situation better than others.  They chose how they wanted to be,and act, despite their losses. For example, some were able to find meaning through caring for other prisoners. Others would give away their portions of food to those who were struggling in this bleak environment. These people did not let their circumstances dictate their own personal attitudes and actions. After the war was over, Frankl went on to write about his experiences in the death camps and developed a theory on finding meaning in life. He observed:

…we can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take to unavoidable suffering. (pg. 133)

This last point gave me insight into my own suffering. Rather than wanting to escape from any pain I was facing, or faced in the past, I chose to find meaning. Rather than wanting a quick-fix, I chose to go through the pain and see what I could learn from these experiences. It was really difficult, but I found a deeper compassion for myself, and for others, which I try to reflect in my psychotherapy practice. I have seen suffering on many different levels, with unique meaning for each client. The client, which I mentioned before, started to understand what true friendship meant for her. She realized that she had been neglecting her 2 closest friends, whom she had known since childhood, in favour of “friends” on social media sites. She was able to see that she had become the abandoner, and this led her to reconnect with the people who truly loved and cared for her. She found meaning, and her suffering led her to a place of gratitude for the people in her life.

©Carolyn; FlickrI am sure that Suffering will come knocking on my door at some point in the future. I will try to meet it with the same fortitude that Viktor Frankl describes in his book. It will be painful, but not meaningless.

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Leaving the harbour

18 June, 2015
©Steeedm; Flickr
©Steedm; Flickr

In my last post I wrote about being in limbo, waiting for an external source to give me an answer to the question – what are my next steps?

Well, I did get an answer, but not the one I was expecting. On the same day, two people, a client in a session, and a friend, said the same quote to me:

“A ship is safe in harbor…but that is not what ships are for.”

William Shedd

Such simple words, but so true.

I guess we can play it safe and stay in our “harbours”, our comfort zones, but is that what we are built for? Is that a big enough purpose to see us through our lives?

The more I think about this, I start to wonder how many of us do not do what we are meant to be doing with our lives. How many of us stay safe and do not express our deeper selves, and our talents?

Over the years, I have seen many clients with skills and capabilities that filled me with inspiration. I was  a witness to their potential, but their fears and beliefs held them back.

Some of them were able to work through the mental obstacles and go on to create businesses, or projects, that reflected who they are.

Others, sadly, couldn’t get past their belief systems, but I hold onto hope that, one day, they will be able to share themselves with the world.

©Gideon Chilton; Flickr
©Gideon Chilton; Flickr

My client said she found the quote and was thinking about it for her own life. My friend said it to me because I was not sure of my next steps. I thought writing was a way that I could express my thoughts and ideas, but was frightened of rejection, or failure.

When I heard this quote for the second time, I knew I had to take notice.

There are many qualities needed to take the first steps: courage and perseverance are just two of them. I needed support, and asking for help is difficult for an independent person like me.

But help I sought, and it came my way. I started a writing course, met some supportive people and created my blog.

I can still hear that little voice inside saying to me, “you shouldn’t be doing this because you are making a fool of yourself.” These harsh words and criticisms don’t have the same effect on me like they use to have. I know it is just my fear talking, trying to protect me.

To continue with this metaphor, I feel like I am just pulling out of the harbour and leaving the safety of the shore. There is a big ocean out there to be explored, and I am excited to see what will happen and who I will meet on the way.

 (For an update on this post, click here).

 

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” I myself am a question…”

12 June, 2015
Carl Jung
Carl Jung

The search for meaning has been a journey for many people over the centuries, and there have been a few who have inspired me. One such person was the Swiss psychiatrist, Carl G. Jung. Jung started off as a follower of Sigmund Freud, and was deemed to be the “crown prince” to carry on Freud’s legacy. It is difficult to explain the complexities of their relationship in a 600 word blog post, but, in the end, they had a famous parting of ways. Jung wanted to explore his own ideas, which went beyond the scope of Freud’s theories. In his later years, Jung moved towards more transpersonal theories which incorporated the spiritual life of human beings. He was able to explain how mankind was capable of transformation and integrating aspects of the individual psyche, as well as the collective psyche, in a conscious and meaningful way. I was introduced to Jung during the first year of my psychotherapy training. His thoughts on psychotherapy, religion, symbolism and culture expanded my mind and broadened my spiritual landscape.

Before he died, Jung wrote a great autobiography on his life called, Memories, Dreams, Reflections, Jung book(1963). Here, he reflected back and described his life, and spiritual journey, in great detail. There are many things he wrote about in this book that were meaningful to me, but there is one quote that, to this day, is a guiding star for me on my path. This is what he wrote:

The meaning of my existence is that life has addressed a question to me. Or, conversely, I myself am a question which is addressed to the world, and I must communicate my answer, for otherwise I am dependent upon the world’s answer. That is a suprapersonal life task, which I accomplish only by effort and with difficulty. (pg.350)

This is profound stuff! Jung was one of those people who, even after they pass away, leaves a ripple effect for years to come, and he certainly left an impact on me. Thinking deeply about this quote, I believe he is saying that my life is a quest-ion and it is my responsibility to find the answers for myself.  If I do not do this, I will rely on the world, or society, to tell me who I am, what I believe, and how I should live my life. At times, I have relied on the world for answers, not making an effort to find them for myself. Before I started writing this blog I felt like I was in limbo – waiting for something to happen, or to get some sort of direction from a mysterious, external source on the next steps in my life. But, nothing happened. Something inside of me sought expression and then I remembered this quote. I realized that it was down to me to find a way to communicate who I am, and what I want to put out into the world. One of my biggest fears was writing, but at the same time it was what I wanted to do, so I faced my fears and “peeling back an onion” was born. I am still searching for answers (perhaps, I always will), and I can attempt to convey my inner life in the best way I know how.

©Matt Kowalczyk; Flickr
©Matt Kowalczyk; Flickr

From time to time, I bring this guidance into the therapy room as I aim to provide the place for my clients to find their own answers for the life they want to live. As Jung reminds us, this is a lifelong task, which takes effort and can be difficult. But, in my experience, the rewards of living a meaningful life outweigh the difficulties to achieve this. I can’t imagine another journey that I would rather be on than the one I am on right now.

 

 

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recurring dream

4 June, 2015
© Antonio Cinotti; Flickr
© Antonio Cinotti; Flickr

As I wrote in my first post, my search for the meaning of existence moved from an outer journey to an inner journey that I am traversing to this day. However, there is an intersection where outer and inner meet and this is in dreams. Dreams have helped me throughout my life. They have helped me towards growth, and guided me away from danger. My last therapist, Anthony Lunt, was the person who helped me to deepen my understanding of my dream life. I even had a dream that told me I should see him for therapy before I knew much about him.

The dream life of human beings used to be taken very seriously in ancient times, where special places were used to help people “incubate” their dreams for spiritual guidance from the Gods. There were priests who would facilitate this process, and those who sought this guidance would stay until a message was received. Sadly, today, our dream lives have been reduced down to books that give a generalized meaning for dreams, and many of us do not take their guidance seriously. When a client brings a dream, in my private practice, we look at the meaning uniquely to them and not a general interpretation.

©Frank Kovalchek, Flickr
©Frank Kovalchek; Flickr

I have had a series of dreams, or it could be a recurring dream, over the past 10 years, where outer life and inner life meet. Each dream starts off differently. In one version, I am on a road, or path, at the bottom of a town, like an Italian hill top town. I turn left and there are a row of houses down a narrow street. I am searching for the Piazza, or centre of town, to get to the market. I another version, I am in the same town, but turn right. The path leads down to a beach, with cafes and people all around. I realize that I need to get back up the hill to search for the Piazza. Every dream is in the same town, with the same aim of getting to the centre. I just keep taking different roads. Like a maze, the streets lead me further into the town; some lead nowhere and I have to turn back, others lead me closer to my destination. The town is beautiful, full of flowers and cafes, and small shops. I don’t recognize any of the people, but they are friendly and welcoming. Each dream ends the same way – I become aware, or conscious, that I am getting close to the centre and then I wake up.  The Piazza eludes me to this day! However, I wake up feeling really well, like I’ve been to a place that I am meant to be in.

©To Tuscany; Flickr
©To Tuscany; Flickr

What I find interesting about this dream is that I have never been to a hill top town in Italy; I have only been to Rome. So, why is the Dream presented to me in this “place” and not in a town that I have spent time in? Hill top towns were built for defense purposes, so I wonder what this is telling me. Another thought is the maze-like quality of the town. Mazes can represent a spiritual path, and a puzzle to be solved, to get to the centre. And this is what makes the most sense to me. The town is a representation of myself, and I am trying to get to my own centre; the centre of my life. It is a continuous journey, but the mystery of my life, and possibly of Existence, still eludes me. But it is not a meaningless undertaking. I wake up feeling like I am in a place I am meant to be in, and this journey brings me a feeling of well being and, on deeper reflection, as sense of inner peace.

Perhaps Italy holds this place for me as a manifestation of the Dream on Earth. I am not sure, but a trip to Italy may be needed for research purposes (and, of course, the food, culture and architecture are added bonuses). Each time I have this dream, I am reminded that Life is a journey, and a path of self-discovery. I would love to know what you think.

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difficulty at the beginning……

29 May, 2015

So, here I am, ready to start my Quest and…….. I already feel stuck. I am not sure where to start. I have many thoughts and ideas, but in what order do I post them to my blog? How do I get the flow right? These thoughts stop me in my tracks and, rather than writing, I end up going through the possibilities and choices over, and over, in my mind. This could be a form of resistance to writing; to putting my thoughts out into the world.

I use Richard Wilhelm translation.
I use the Richard Wilhelm translation.

As I was sitting at my desk in my office, staring at my computer, I glanced over to my book shelf and saw the I Ching. I guess a very short introduction is warranted here. The I Ching is an ancient Chinese book, possibly written by Lao Tzu and Confucius, long before the religions of today. The basis of this philosophy is that change is inevitable, and how you conduct yourself, even during difficult times, is important to your own human development. There are 2 books in one: a Book of Wisdom and a Book of Oracles. Most people who study the IChing follow the Oracle. I rarely use the Oracle and choose to read it mainly for wise counsel. For a spiritual seeker, it is like a map on how to proceed.

There is a reading (known as a hexagram) in the I Ching, called “Difficulty at the Beginning”, which seemed perfect for my dilemma and, at this stage, I needed some sagely advice. What I took away from it was:

  • struggle is to be expected
  • accept the struggle and persevere
  • seek help from others

This hexagram compares the journey to giving birth. Something wants to come forth, take form, and use the Creative forces to express itself. Perhaps my stuckness is a kind of “labour pain” in the process of starting out on this writing journey? In the past, I would have given up at this stage, not from laziness or fear, but from believing that the difficulty was some sort of “sign” that I was heading in the wrong direction. The path of least resistance was what I believed in back then. Sitting here, reflecting back, I wonder how many great ideas I gave up on too soon? Did I stop my own creativity from flowing because I faced difficulty at the beginning? I know I didn’t take the time to reflect on what was going on for me. I just gave up. But, this is not part of my journey now, and the I Ching confirmed this.

Hexagram for Difficulty at the Beginning
Hexagram for Difficulty at the Beginning

The hexagram also recommends not pushing too hard, or forcing the issue. This can lead to disappointment, or even disaster. I guess the main advice I took away from this is “you are on the right path, it may be tough at first, but be gentle and kind to yourself, talk to others and keep going”.

So, what did I learn? To be stuck at the get-go is humbling, but I am ok with this.  I may have all the ideas, in my inner world, of what I want to write about, but it may not progress in the way I expect it to; being open to other possibilities needs to be embraced. Those old voices, that use to dominate my thoughts and feelings, still appear when I am starting a new project. I need to remind myself that there is no pressure and that I want to learn from my journey and enjoy it. I can see the lessons, and I can get support. And, I can write about it!

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